Trust

to trust is to leave yourself open
to leave yourself open is to be vulnerable
vulnerabilty causes pain
and pain is suffering

i don't want to suffer anymore

i want to feel special again
having someone special involves trust
to have someone hold me close
to feel the warmth of their skin on mine
hearing their heart beat in their chest
that safe and protected feeling
knowing nothing can hurt me whilst in their arms
how i long to feel this again
one day
some day
hopefully

is it worth the sufferring of trusting someone?
just to feel special?
yes
but the pain that is endured
the suffering that is felt
the tears that are cried
are almost intollerable on the journey

trust is so difficult to earn
and yet so quickly destroyed
to be able to trust again
is the first step i must face

LAH November 1999

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