Will It Ever
Knowing
that you are on your own
Wanting to have something
Anything
But not wanting to let them in
Is there really someone out there?
Someone who wants to be let in?
Someone you can let in
I'd like to think so
Or at least hope so
But then why would they want to be let in to me?
How can i deal with the present
When i can't with things from over 10 years ago
For 8 years trusting and being hurt
Is the healing to begin by trusting?
It's such a vicous cycle
What if I never get past my old scars?
What if I never learn to trust again?
Will I go on forever pained?
Can I ever close the box again?
Can i continue by closeing the box again
And again
And again...
Its so full it can't be closed right now
And that is the greatest fear of all
That it never will again...
Lisanne March 2001